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Still, that day, that moment, lives in my heart, seared there by love. And, occasionally, my heart says – what if?“She doesn’t feel that way about you, and you can’t marry each other.” My aunt’s words hung in the air, and I looked across the bed where my cousin sat on the other side. My mother sat next to me, and my aunt, her sister, stood at the foot of the guest room bed where my mother had been sleeping. My mother and I had come into town the day before on one of our infrequent visits, and they had brought my cousin and me into the guest room to talk.I was young, almost twenty-one, and I was so very tired of being alone. I had tried to date, but casual relationships and casual sex wasn’t what I wanted. In short, I wanted a wife. A year earlier, (this was in the days before the Internet) I had struck up a mail and phone correspondence with my cousin, who lived several states away. We talked by phone and we wrote letters, and we always said “I love you” to end each conversation. In. I guess he must have seen the commercials as much as I have. We sat down eating. I was famished. I ate cereal in the morning and as usual, by the time the afternoon is over, I am hungry enough to eat a horse. I was not eating like a dainty, feminine lady-like type of gal. Oh, no. I was eating like the big guy from Animal House. It took me a moment to notice that Marcus was watching me. He was smiling and gently shaking his head. I looked at him, forced a smile. What was he thinking? Marcus grinned and continued to eat, as fast and as hungrily as I was. When we were done, our faces were covered with ketchup and cheese. Like a pair of kids. We both burst out laughing. And this is how it all began. After this memorable time in Brockton, Marcus and I became buddies. We walked to class together. All the girls were looking at me with venom in their eyes. I couldn’t believe my luck. I was spending so much time with the guy of my dreams. A handsome young black man. Future police officer.
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